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Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats -- approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.

My favorite fortunes

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Wed, 12/16/2009 - 17:28
Brandon
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Hey all!

Lets start this forum thread to share our favorite fortunes. I'll get us all started:

The difference between a lawyer and a rooster is that the rooster gets up in the morning and clucks defiance.

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Wed, 12/16/2009 - 19:21
#1
Gamer4life
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OMG had to post these as they

OMG had to post these as they made me laugh so hard

Brigands will demand your money or your life, but a woman will demand both.
-- Samuel Butler

There is no such thing as an ugly woman -- there are only the ones who do
not know how to make themselves attractive.
-- Christian Dior


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Wed, 12/23/2009 - 06:39
#2
Gamer4life
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Omg this made me laugh so

Omg this made me laugh so hard

My Bonnie looked into a gas tank,
The height of its contents to see!
She lit a small match to assist her,
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.


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Mon, 01/04/2010 - 18:12
#3
Brandon
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Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's Club which is strictly for Men. Admission is free, pay at the door, Pull up a chair, and sit on the floor. It was a summer's day in winter, And the snow was raining fast, As a barefoot boy with shoes on, Stood sitting in the grass. Oh, that bright day in the dead of night, Two dead men got up to fight. Three blind men to see fair play, Forty mutes to yell "Hooray"! Back to back, they faced each other, Drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise, Came and arrested those two dead boys.

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Wed, 01/06/2010 - 18:24
#4
gspawn
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Tee hee hee. I love that one.

Tee hee hee. I love that one.

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Thu, 01/28/2010 - 06:16
#5
sergeant
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That one was good, but here's

That one was good, but here's my all time favorite:

The software required Win95 or better, so I installed Linux.

"If I fail, the world fails with me."-Myself
"If con is the opposite of pro, does that mean that Congress is the opposite of progress?"-Anonymous

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Sat, 02/27/2010 - 06:32
#6
Gamer4life
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There are two times when a

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -- before
marriage and after marriage.


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Sun, 02/28/2010 - 14:55
#7
sergeant
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^ Amen.

^ Amen.

"If I fail, the world fails with me."-Myself
"If con is the opposite of pro, does that mean that Congress is the opposite of progress?"-Anonymous

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